Date: Thursday, December 17, 2009
Title: This is SO phail
Okay, so I just passed my Machine Problem for CS 21 (Computer Organization and the Assembly Language) subject. HAHA. Don't ask. Long story.
Wait, I don't know, am I still awake?
Sheesh. This circuits are giving me headaches. What's worst is here I am again, doubting if I should do this.
Ugh, I don't know.
Okay, Apryl.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS, POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
Christmas, right. I should be thinking of that.
Well, I think I can confidently say that Christmas is not especially for kids but for all the lonely folks around the globe. You see, Christmas brings...joy, that even in one time of the year, you'd feel (no matter how lonely and alone you are) LOVED. Why? Simply because God gave Jesus to you that very day.
Jesus signifies LOVE. PASSION. FORGIVENESS. SACRIFICE. Exactly the things that one Christmas day should have. And exactly the things I'm missing. My patience for someone is thinning, because of (unexpected) events done by you-know-who. Well, you can't blame me feeling emotions such as anger and hatred. I'm a Christian yes, but not perfect. No, not at all.
But being human is not entirely an excuse after all. It's His message/revelation for today. I shouldn't bear hatred for a fact that like other normal people, I'm sinning too. I make people mad or sad or depressed. Wouldn't it be sad to see that other people bear hatred against you?
So, you (whoever you are), I'm not mad at you anymore. Ah, no actually, I was never mad. It just quite saddening that just because you want to be noticed, you started to disregard what you
should notice. Gaaah, I just hope this message should be clear to you...in a good way. I would want to tell this straight to your face, but the thing is, I don't know how to say it in a way you want. Talk about differences huh? Well, yeah. You got the point.
POSITIVE THOUGHTS, right. I should really think of that.
尾張~
Date: Sunday, December 13, 2009
Title: Lesson Learned. :)
WARNING: Rotten post ahead. I wouldn't go too easy. Especially to
you. So if you have a weak heart, please, don't continue.
DON'T ASSUME UNLESS STATED.
(So, you're nervous?)
Now that's what you should remember.
This post is
supposed to be a happy one. Because of the simple fact that I'm happy.
Why?
I'm happy because I somehow manage to pass my Math Exam (yaaay!). Happy that I'm able to pass my Machine Problem safe and sound (despite a day late). Happy that Christmas is just around the corner. And many more. And as always, to God be the glory. He never fails me, really.
But things, as always, wouldn't go as to how you want it to be. And here come's evil.
This person. Okay, I know you don't want to see your name in here, so be it. Unfortunately, if you'd be hurt, lemme remind you this, you did that to yourself. I never said that this is you eh?
You should be that special. Making my tears fall is one of the things I do to something/someone who touched or trampled my heart. Che, when it's saved for someone more special, I used it for you. Tsk.
*sighs* Okay. Here it goes. I hope your heart's ready for this.
(I'll try to be rational as possible, that's a promise.)YOU.I don't know if I should be blunt to you, or if I should remain stupid and act as if nothing's happening. But I think, one thing's for certain:
YOU'RE SELFISH.
Don't tell me, "
I know, you don't have to rub it in," because believe me hon, YOU DON'T KNOW. You don't even know what your saying. You don't even like to see both ends. You like keeping your selfish thoughts intact. You like keeping yourself immature, when you're
supposed to grow, just like other normal people. You like being close-minded.
I'm not saying this solely basing from my opinions...all the more from my emotions. It's a fact, you see. That everyone (except you) seems to notice.
Ah. Your point? One can't change someone over night. Or...we should all accept each and everyone's faults, limitations, likes, dislikes....in short everything.
I can't blame you for that way of thinking, if that's what you think. But my point is, should that only be applicable to you?
We're all humans. We cry. We laugh. We get angry. We do crazy stuffs. And sometimes, no one would seem to understand us. That's the point. You missed it. Too bad.
You seem to miss that I'm human too. That like you, I can get angry, I can cry...I can get hurt. That I can do hurtful things too. So if you think that you're the only one who could do that, and you're the only one who have the right to complain, my, you should see a doctor. You might be seeing things the different way. No two person are the same yes, so I guess that means you have to remove that stinking principle you have eh?
Grow up. That's the key.In this thing called friendship, companionship, marriage...all of them are collectively known as relationships. No man is an island right? So no matter who you are, you need this. Why? Because YOU'RE HUMAN. Simple, and you can't change that.
But, being inside this stuff called
life, these should be clear to you: WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIP, 1) it takes two to tango and 2) don't expect anything in return. One point missed and relationship: poof! GONE.
Well, I know deep down that you're expecting something from me. Expecting the things you do, all of it... should be like a 'to-do' list for me, that it's not even funny. Not direct, of course. IMPLIED. I'm not surprised if you didn't notice it until now.
Oh, yeah. I forgot. You're selfish. And not to mention
stubborn. But I guess now you know eh?
But my aunt got it right, she said:
In life, especially to people around you, you should know that not everything's about you. But the most important thing you should remember is, never depend your happiness on one person/a group of selected people. Because believe me, when things change, you'd be falling apart. Why? Because all your happiness might be gone.
So, if what's keeping a relationship or, say a person, going is merely happiness (which a normal person would love), you will not grow, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY. Yes, exactly like you. You like things making you smile or squeal...
neglecting things that makes you depressed or sad or mad, instead of getting its good points, its lesson.
A relationship, say friendship...or marriage, does not require anything but will. Will to do things not required.
Very well said. Thanks to my aunt, I have a better way on how to think things through, especially matters involving the heart. My heart. Yes, lesson learned. ^-^ That I hope...you got as you're reading this.
Oh okay, this is wrong. Wrong in the sense that I'm typing this crap, just to prove my point, to prove my existence and effort (all along! That you didn't seem to see) and have you notice what you're missing, when in fact I shouldn't expect anything...right?
But then again, maybe I lived to tell you this.
Enough with childishness. Move forward and not to any other sides. If you want F.O., as you want it, I'd give you that. But better take all these into consideration. Think it through. That might remove the cloud.
尾張~
Date: Monday, December 7, 2009
Title: Getting the Wrong! Message
One of the most difficult things in the world. To understand a someone's message. Okay, might be a piece of cake to others, but for me? Na-ah. Definitely not.
I just watched
Shojoku Seira (trans: "Little Princess Sarah"), the Japanese version of my mom's favorite cartoon, Princess Sarah. [ portrayed by Shida Mirai, and whoa, am I glad to see her acting all princessly. XDD ] When I was still on my mom's tummy, she never fails to watch this, seriously. So I'm wondering why I didn't get any of Seira-sama's personality.
Oh, I totally forgot. I just watched New Moon too. And guess what? I find Bella disgusting. Bleh. ._. Ah, I'm watching Ohitorisama too, well, because Teppei Koike is O_O. WOW. IKEMEN YO~!Anyway, moving on. This jdorama made me cry, even when I watched Princess Sarah a lot of time. Yep, the original one, and the tagalized, and then Camille Pratt's version. Well uh, her situation is somewhat unrealistic. From riches...to rags...and then...again, riches. But what made me cry? Apart from touching a "family side" in my heart, was Seira/Sarah's determination, to something...I dunno if she's aware of. HAHA. Pretty weird huh?
What's new though, is that Seira here has a love interest, Kaitou-kun, who replaced Becky's place in the original story. Kakkoi~! Ikemen yo~! (And, I'm pretty shocked with Emika-san [portraying the role of Ms. Amelia, Ms. Minchin's younger sister ], because she's kinda...gay. And crazy, if I may add. XDD)
*e-ehem*
Okay. Somewhere between the Jdo, Seira declared that God took everything from her because He was testing her, and at the same time, to give her a chance to know herself better.
Now, tell me. How could she declared that, with just that?
Or wait, did she get the wrong message?
Most of the time, people (well, yeah. Pretty much like me) tend to overlook small details. For example, assuming someone fell in love with you when in fact, s/he's the same to all the people, even not you. Assuming bad motives when someone does unusually nice things to you. Assuming it's the end of the world just because your professor scolded you. And many others that you do encounter everyday. Well, of course we can't help that. This is
the world we're talking about. And when it is, we must take all things into consideration.
Oh, especially when it comes to the message of you-know-who.
Okay. GOD'S MESSAGE.
For a simple reason. Because He
is God, and that's it. No questions asked. Y-Yeah.
Know what? I've been thinking. How can a person have a grasp of what He's trying to imply? Would it...work with just one's understanding? 'Cause I pretty much don't know what kind of life I'd live in the future, if it wasn't for Him, even though I can't understand anything about it. I'm having doubts about the message the I got, actually. Maybe I wouldn't understand it at all.
Hmm okay, maybe for now yeah. But I think I can't wait 'til I'm older. To know what all of this meant. ;_; To know why on earth did I land on UP, when I should be somewhere farther? Or..why the heck am I a computer scientist instead of someone who doesn't do integrations?
Ne? Ne...?
I want to be like Seira. WELL IT'S RIDICULOUS TO ASK TO BE A PRINCESS NE? But I still want to be like her. I meant the way on how she perceive life, not letting herself look down or on the sides. For in her words, that would just hurt her. (So maybe, yeah. I...might be looking down or on the sides too.) That despite losing all she had, she still had a smiling face for tomorrow, hoping that somehow, time would turn her tables around.
I'm loving classics. :) She likes Ma. Antoniette after all. ^-^
尾張~
Date: Thursday, December 3, 2009
Title: Little Miss Failure
"
Ayoko nang mag-comsci..." I told my dad. And it's really from the heart.
Know what? If I didn't know better, Computer Science and
ME are like...two different dimensions. Two different
parallel dimensions. Meaning two different dimensions that are supposed to avoid each other.
I really thought I'm going to like comsci. It sounds flashy, and when everyone here's it, the people's appraisal like "OMG, you're good!" or "
Talino ah!" is...ticklish. It's really a nice thing to hear.
Well at first, I thought that since God made me enter UPD with Comsci as my course, I think it'll be all right. That the people who praise me and probably my family would be enough. That, although hard, I'll enjoy it to the best of my abilities.
I'm being hypocrite ain't I? When my previous post said that I'll live my life without regrets, here I'm am, REGRETTING EVERY BITS OF IT.
Failure really destroys me. Every teeny tiny bits of me. Why? I'm afraid of failures. REJECTIONS. And sadly, we have a lot of that around. I don't know, but most of them are around me, for some odd reasons.
There's the Machine Problem. I actually thought it's gonna be a-ok, since my dad says so. And when he said it is, it is. But? What now? I CAN'T EVEN DO IT!
And then there's MATH. I really thought I had it all figured out. And just when that thought came to mind, poof, all gone.
PATHETIC NE?
Really now, the one thing I want for Christmas? For this to all settle down. And how would it be settled?
Best case: I could have all the answers in an instant. Hey, it could be now.
Average case: After some time, I can have them all answered. Probably when I'm older, wandering on the streets because of severe paranoia.
Worst case: I'll never gonna find an answer unless I died or something. (But, no...not suicide. It's very...uh, okay, the ugliest form of death, I'm serious.)
Out of the three cases there, the Asymptotic notation of the following is...well, I don't know. (Oh, I got that asymtotic notation from...somewhere. Math-related I guess?)
If there's one way to get out of these, please do tell me. I'd appreciate that.
尾張~
Date: Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Title: Without Regrets
I decided to open mine and Karen's joined account (mizusenjo02) on FFn.net. And saw this:

It's Marriage Menace's stats. Suuuuuuuuuuper overwhelming. Might not be on par with Kamiyama-kun's
Onegai, Tutor! but still. :) But, I guess, when we finally had the chance to update, the treatment of the readers might not be as warm as it used to be. Well, I can't blame them. Becaue for months we haven't been updating, this is to be expected.
I loved the story. Really. We (Karen and I) actually had "fights" regarding this. Can you believe that? Two writers fighting over a fic. HAHAHA.
Right now, one of things I want to accomplish this Christmas break is this one. At least a chapter or two. Because...I'm starting to forget the story itself. I don't even know how is it gonna end. How ridiculous, yes, but that's the way it is.
Moving on, my day is...well, normal. (But I think tomorrow's gonna change this, I'll be receiving my Blue booooooook! *hides*) I just had to attend one 11:30AM class then I'm done.
Well, our professor, he's not there, so I'm really pissed because I reviewed the MAP again.
And unfortunately (or...fortunately, whatever), he had a substitute prof/student who let us take the test. FOR 30 minutes.
Honestly, I know all those. Problem is, I forgot which goes there and which goes here. SO IT'S DOOMED that I don't even want to remember it again. Another thing is that, I crammed because a classmate of mine said that Maguindanao is...divided into two provinces. ;_; And I can't even remember the rest, how horrible. And the drawing of the Philippine map is not that accurate. That I even have to recite (silently of course) the whole Mindanao just to get a province right.
We ended at exactly 12nn, and whoa. My classmate who's late for...what, 25 minutes is not able to finish the map exam. ;_; Sad, yeah.
I'm supposed to have my Certification of Accredited Subjects this day, and...poof. Laziness occured.
How boring ne?
But, through all this (though it's hard), I've learned that I should live my life without regrets. Or else, I wouldn't have a life at all. ~
尾張~
Date: Sunday, November 29, 2009
Title: I HATE POSERS. Pfft.
[ I'm not in a bad mood today, but this...I'm really itching to let this topic out of my system, just so I could forget all about it altogether. After this. Yes, I'll do that.
Okay, before anything else, happenings for the day. I just had my Math Exam this morning (thank goodness we have a trauma break tomorrow XDDD). And guess what? IT'S DIFFICULT. Uhm...but okay, let His will be done. Period.
I wandered around SM North Edsa after my class (Sir Wigi didn't attend class again, OSOM. >,<) and bought my charger and the map for tomorrow's quiz. ^-^ Boooooring really. AND I REALLY WANT CHRISTMAS NAOO. ]WARNING: If you admit that you're a poser (well, a poser in more ways than one), this isn't healthy for you. ROTTEN POST AHEAD.Being a poser is a general thing, I know. I'll be focusing on one particular thing don't worry.
E-Ehem. Okay.
Admiring someone is but normal. Humans are humans after all.
The reason?
Imperfection of the human race. Usually, we tend to look for things we don't have, simply because...well, we don't have them. And...well, yeah. If all were perfect, it's pointless to admire.
So if you admire someone, congratulations. YOU'RE NORMAL.
But, there's a thin line between being normal of liking someone and A POSER.
Normally, if you like someone, you wouldn't brodcast it to the whole wide world eh? Or...you'd share it to someone with the same thoughts, same ideals, and the same interests as you. That wouldn't matter. It's a-ok.
But well, uhm...see, assume people don't care, should you still tell them you admire someone in a "show-off" manner?
Show-off how? Something like this:
XXX's text message would be something like...
yahaaaaa~!!!1111 ABC-kun texted me today! He's like uber handsome and popular and wow. I'm so kilig to the boooones. @Awesomely awesome-kun, what? Gonna call me later? ^-^ And to all who said that I'm drop dead gorgeous (okay, I dunno...maybe I am, maybe I'm not *grins*), thank yoooooooou!!!!1111
A SHOW-OFF. LIKE I CAREEEEE??? Okay, I exaggerated the text a bit but know what? For me, the message looks exactly like this. Oh, what, you want to see the exact text? Well, uh. NO COMMENT.
Know what? I personally hate it when people use GMs as cbox. Like really. If you want to chat within yourselves, you don't really have to brodcast it to allllllllll. Because IT'S IRRITATING. YES?
The one I'm talking about...she's pretty, yes. But, to be a show-off like this? Like all boys would bow down to her? Like even the stars would come down to heaven, just because she's on Earth? Puh-leeez. She's being rotten. :|
She even thought that she's soooo pretty that pretty boys are texting/chatting with her, and going crazy in love with her. EEW. That's just...insane.
Let me name her prit-tey.
Soooo, prit-tey, if you know who you are, YOU SHOULD STOP BEING A POSER. Because 1) it's not lovely, and 2) it's unhealthy. I don't know if I should tell this to you personally, but given that I'm not pretty, I wouldn't dare to, I realized that. But, a piece of advice, don't assume too much. Okay, maybe you're telling that truth. But if you were and if I were you, I wouldn't tell it to anyone. Not that I'm selfish, but the thing is...some people might
not care.
SO YEAH? You should do that. ^-^ For you and for me and the entire human race. :)
Hoping you'd consider,
Kemi
尾張~
Date: Saturday, November 28, 2009
Title: Everybody's Little Giant
Note: All pictures are taken from photobucket.com. yaay. This post would contain mainly of Chinen Yuri. So, yeah. Chinen/JE readers, this wouldn't be healthy for you.
See this guy? ^ Teh pwnsome guy up there?
(I'm breaking from Math54. My head is full of ∫'s that /I'm afraid/ might explode any minute now. Trust me, one day full of integration is...crazy. I don't even think 'crazy' is the proper term anymore. Hai, let's not talk about that.)
Well,

this is it! On 2009年 11月 30日, Hey!Say!Jump's
Little Giant (aka Chinen Yuuri / 知念侑李) is turning sixteen (yay! We're of the same age already! :P) The nickname "Little Giant" suits him no? Because you wouldn't imagine that this cute, squishy guy can do amazing stunts. HAHA.
I have watched him on "Scrap Teacher" (he's actually cooler that Yama, though he said that if he would live another person's life, it would be Yama's life he would want. Why? I don't know. Maybe because he's not seeing the good sides of him. :P Or...I don't know. Maybe Yama's...kewl like that. Okay, he is. But it's not his birthday so I'd better stop blabbing about him. ^-^ Maybe on May 9th. XDDD) and heard his duet with Yama, namely Stars in Heaven, and I can pretty much say he grew up. Awww...I'm feeling proud actually, that I can actually imagine how his mother is feeling the same way.
The first time I saw Hey!Say!Jump perform, he's the first one I noticed.
I love his
dimples. I love his
smile. I love his
eyes. I love his
cheeks. I love his
voice (getting smexier every year eh?). I love his backflips. Pretty much everything.
Haha. Okaaay. I don't like him romantically, that's for sure. More of...an ideal little brother kind of thing (I'm not a pedo, okay?). Because he's cute and pwnsome and I pretty much think he's nice.
A childish brat though. ;_; But maybe that's the essence. I want to take care of him. *bricked*Okay, well...since he's older, I'd be expecting him to be more...mature. Or, something like that. Because, what's the use of turning a year older ne? All should change for the better (not the worst) like it's supposed to be.
Message to Chinen Yuuri (well, that is if he could have the chance to see this):
[ made possible by Google Translate. ^-^ ]Hi~!
First of all, Happy Birthday! ^-^ You might be wondering who I am, but I guess that wouldn't matter. Why? Just because.
You should be happy. At least try to. With the kind of life you have...with the fame, and all that, you must be having emotional distress or something. Who am I to know? You're the same as every human being here on earth. So I guess that wouldn't surprise you anymore. :)
Keep the strength. And continue to be as energetic as when you do your backflips. And remain as thankful as you could be.
Life is short. Enjoy it.
My way of speaking would roughly translate that YOU (yes, you) should hurry up and grow. Your habit of saying you want to is good, but living with that is another story. You pretty much get what I'm saying eh?
So, yes. Again, happy birthday! More powers, more birthdays to come, and God bless! :)
~Kemi
--
こんにちは〜!
まず第一に、ハッピーバースデー! ^ - ^あなたは私が誰だか疑問に思われるかもしれませんが、私は問題にならないだろうと思います。なぜ?という理由だけで。
あなたが満足している必要があります。少なくともしてください。あなたが人生のような... ...名声と、そのすべてを使用すると、抱えている必要があります精神的苦痛、または何か。誰が私を知ってか?あなたと同じしているすべての人間はここ地球上でている。だから私は、もうあなたは驚かないだろうと思います。 :)
強度を保持。ととしてエネルギッシュにするときに、あなたのbackflipsを続けている。とすることができるそして、感謝のままになります。
人生は短いです。それをお楽しみください。
大体は、お客様(はい、できます)を急ぐべきだと成長の翻訳と言えば私の方法です。あなたにしたいというのがあなたの習慣を良いですが、それは別の話だとの生活。あなたがかなり私はえて何を言っているのですか?
だから、はい。繰り返しますが、誕生日おめでとう!もっと力を、より多くの誕生日来るし、神の祝福! :)
〜ケミ
--
kon'nichiwa 〜 !
mazu dai ichi ni , happī bāsudē ! ^ - ^anata wa watashi ga dare da ka gimon ni omowa reru kamo shire mase n ga , watashi wa mondai ni nara nai daro u to omoi masu . naze ? toyuu riyū dake de .
anata ga manzoku shi te iru hitsuyō ga ari masu . sukunakutomo shi te kudasai . anata ga jinsei no yō na ... ...meisei to , sono subete wo shiyō suru to , kakae te iru hitsuyō ga ari masu seishin teki kutsū , matawa nani ka . dare ga watashi wo shi~tsu te ka ? anata to onaji shi te iru subete no ningen wa koko chikyū jō de te iru . dakara watashi wa , mō anata wa odoroka nai daro u to omoi masu . : )
kyōdo wo hoji . to toshite enerugisshu ni suru toki ni , anata no backflipswo tsuzuke te iru . to suru koto ga dekiru soshite , kansha no mama ni nari masu .
jinsei wa mijikai desu . sore wo o tanoshimi kudasai .
daitai wa , okyakusama ( hai , deki masu ) wo isogu beki da to seichō no hon'yaku to ie ba watashi no hōhō desu . anata ni shi tai toyuu no ga anata no shūkan wo yoi desu ga , sore wa betsu no hanashi da to no seikatsu . anata ga kanari watashi wa ete nani wo i~tsu te iru no desu ka ?
dakara , hai . kurikaeshi masu ga , tanjō bi omedetō ! motto chikara wo , yori ōku no tanjō bi kuru shi , kami no shukufuku ! : )
〜 kemi
--
Ohhhh. I wonder how will I react if I saw his reply. HAHA. Something like, "Okay! I'll do that!" would /I think/
melt me. :)) How...Yuuri-centric. :))
I hope that he wouldn't be involved much with controversies, tho. I mean, not now. He's so squishy and cute to handle that.
Wishes for the birthday
boy guy? MORE SHOWS. THOUSANDS OF BLESSINGS. (And Salvation, if he's not yet saved, maybe?) Why? Even if we don't know each other, it's not bad to wish a person the best. Ne?
尾張~
Date:
Title: Examination Blues
WARNING: I might turn all geeky with the following, so please bear with me. I didn't mean to be one. Seriously.
This is horrible. I can't think straight. :|
I just had my day. The
day of doom, which roughly translates me reviewing for my first long exam in Elementary Analysis II aka Math 54. I always wondered, why is it called "elementary"? Should that mean that this thing should be simple? O_O
Okaaaaaaay, whatever that means.
First I thought, "Okay, this is it. I'm dead." Why? Because 1) it's MATH and 2) it's integration.
So, okay. I solved problems as best as I could. See, the coverage was from Techniques of Integration (i.e., Integration by Parts - Trigonometric Substitution) up to Separable Differential Equations. I'm silently thanking God that my professor (Sir Vic) toned the coverage a bit. Toned in a way that /I think/ we could survive. Somehow. Because reeeeally. If you even add the exponential growth and decay part to that? I'M DOOMED. DOOMED 'ya hear that?
Well, apparently it turned out quite well. I can actually integrate improper integrals! *cheers* And yeeeaah, I can detect discontinuity on the equation! (Yes, it's supposed to have the exclamation point.) Which roughly means that I'm learning! (On the side note, we have this...sign that if our handwriting turned worst, it would mean that we've gotten better on our programming. I sincerely hope it could have some truth behind it. :P)
This second take of Math...has its own advantages. I mean, now, I can totally (okay, somehow) relate to what my professor is saying. Rather than last semester, when I chose to sleep rather than to hear more of his let x be this or that. ;_; It's...cruel. Cruel in its own way.
I'm not really a moron, so I can pretty much say that I could relate now. I'm really happy that despite the difficulty of the subject, I can grasp some of it. Though, I don't know if I could really apply all those in the future job(s) I'll be having.
And then there's the Machine Problem. Thank goodness I have a dad. A computer programmer/slash/system analyst dad who could help me with all these algos and stuffs. He's always talking Greek (I can't blame him though, his an analyst, what can I do?) , and he seem to have this...implied expectation on me. It's really heavy. But, okay...he's helping. That's why I can freely blog all this at the moment. If not, I don't know what I could've done.
This wouldn't be as easy to deal with since I'm not the same as some other brain maniac who could graduate on college at age 16. Na-ah. Definitely not. I'm pretty happy with what I am though. Being normal is happy. Or...maybe that's just me.
Maybe what I need it to chill. To cool down a bit. Because for derivatives' sake, being with your Math problems all day is a major cause of headache! That's why I think that it's good I had the 3 hours rest. Ne?
Methinks so too. :)
尾張~
Post Script: I got a...bruise. A small one, yeah, but I don't know where it came from. O_O Should I be scared? (It kinda stings...actually) Oh! And...I hope we can watch New Moon tomorrow. Or..okay, should I just wait for the DLable DVD copy?
Date: Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Title: Futility Sucks
Know what? I kinda have that feeling some-ah, no. ALWAYS. (I'm really thinking that even this blog is pointless. Don't you think so?)
In everything I do, all seems pointless. No matter how I look things positively.
Set backs? I'm awfully afraid of them. Afraid that it might suck the living daylights out of me. :| Of course, it's but normal. BUT, I can't help but feeling insanely helpless every time I think about it.
So there's the repeating-the-Math-because-I-dropped-it issue. And then there's...OH. I don't know. I don't even want to say anything anymore. =_="
My day(s) had been mediocre. Normal. Boring. (Well, except for our
lovely professor who decided to make all of us memorize the map of the Philippines, just because he wanted to...or I dunno. Because it's the 10% of our final grade? Oh please, I don't want to think about it.)
Hmm...but as they say,
everything happens for a reason. See, if it weren't for that, I wouldn't know that Bukidnon was in Mindanao (I really thought it was on Luzon *bricked*) and...well, Sarangani is also in Mindanao (reeeally. Because of Manny's accent, I thought Gen.San [the capital] is in Visayas). OH HELL.
God bless me on Math this Dec. 1. I sincerely pray I wouldn't mess all this up this time. SERIOUSLY.
And you too. God bless. Thanks for listening (reading)...? And maybe the sympathy? Oh, but I appreciate prayers best. :)
尾張~
Date: Friday, November 20, 2009
Title: The Not-so-Long Post
So, I was listening to SHINee's Ring Ding Dong and thought about this.
What is left to do when you know there's a lot you should do yet you couldn't do anything?Okay, that's nuts. Seriously. Because I don't have anything in mind. I'm just typing what I think I should type, but in truth, I think I shouldn't be typing these things now.
. . .
Wheew. Okay. More sensible this time. It's my friends debut today, and sadly, I can't come. It's not that I don't want to come (because I can say I'll be totally out-of-place given that I don't like parties) it's just that I /really/ can't come. Why? Because the attire's...a dress. And, these days, I don't even want to imagine myself in one of those. Ever.
It's sad. Knowing that this absence might be the mark of a misunderstanding, well, I hope not. I'm not really good at keeping relationships, that's why some people might think of me as a selfish brat with zero social life.
Another thing. I knew (ever since the world began) that Math is my waterloo. I just don't get it. Why am I forcing myself to be a computer science student?
Is it because of pride? Well, partly yes, since I'm setting my mind not to be focused on this mess rather than blaming myself for taking it. It's just that my mind keeps changing that I don't even know if what I'm doing is right.
And add the 'pressure' my dad's giving me, ah...ta-dah. I'm...brain dead.
To be a person with no vision is to be someone without a 'self' at all. It's really frightening, and somewhat...a pity if you think about it.
Cold. So cold. That I feel as if I'm alone.
With my temporary happiness removed, can you still think that I could still live for another sixteen years? :|
Well, Problems are universal. It's a wide fact, but every people had their own interpretations of it. Some might think that problems are solely for poor people, or when the rich think about it, it's as if nothing could solve it, even money.
Well, as of this moment, problems for me is
something you should be proud of, but at the same time,
it would be the death of you. It's the former for if you have problems, congratulations, you're normal, just like every living person around. And well, it's the latter for if you'd continue being all crazy about it, thinking that there's no escape, you'd think of the S-word.
SUICIDE.
It's a very creepy, having thought of it numerous times. The mere word would make your heart skip a beat. It's crazy. It'll make you feel more condemned and less cared.
A Christian shouldn't be thinking about this, since you have God right? But I guess there's this time when you feel that you're the reincarnation of Apollo. I guess that's normal. I mean, being human has its own consequences. Having complicated brains make us think of complicated problems, compared to birds on the sky or fishes in sea; their only problem is to eat or be eaten. Simple as that.
I hate venting out this thoughts. It's...it's making me anxious, instead of unperturb. :(
Please, the next time you see me like this again, would you do me a favor and hit me hard on the head? Thanks very much.
尾張~
Date:
Title: Me ish tired~
After sooooo many hours, I finally finished this blog's layout. Wheew. That was one hell of a code. ;_; I had to repeat copy-pasting it because I thought something was wrong. But at least I manage to fix it somehow.
Managing a blog is laborious, especially if you're OC. XDD Take that from me.
It's my friend's debut tomorrow, and I still don't know if I'll attend or what. For one, I /can't/ attend to those kinds of parties. It's...classy and...I dunno. I don't even want to think that I'll be wearing a dress. Yes, you see that right. /A white dress./ Owww...geez. Hope that heavens and Eunica will forgive me though, if ever I didn't wake up on time. :|
Oh, and my blog's layout? Isn't it wonderful?
Well, thanks be to Mami Ariane... for the help. (And I'm sorry. About the 1000 random numbers, did you finish the code already? My brains not working at the moment, and I'm even wondering if I'm still awake or what. :|)
Math54 first exam is just around the corner. So help me God. :)
尾張~